Sometimes I am afraid to write, sometimes I shun myself from writing because it delves into me like a narrow tunnel and makes me go through things I would rather forget. I am afraid of my writing yet at the same time I cannot do without writing. Sometimes it is the only get away I get to have, the only person willing to hear my story, the only way I can let it all out and not fear that they will turn their backs on me. Sometimes writing is more of a hobby and at times I miss it terribly .While other times I just don’t even want to think about writing ,I don’t want to go there, I do not want to feel vulnerable and so I do not write .That will have me carry the burden for many days until I write. I should write .I will write. I have no option other than to write. So I write.
So I take my laptop and open the word page and start writing. A few words at first, my heart so heavy ,so enchanted .The words have been dancing through my head none stop these previous weeks and so now I try my luck to write. I try my luck to at least pride myself in coming up with words that make a little more sense to more than just me. I gather all the courage and promise myself that this time I will write it all, and let go off this burden and then I open the MS word. The blinking cursor stares at me. Almost mocking my inability to come up with words. Mocking my over attempted efforts to write. Then I scorn it at first and dare to prove it wrong. I think that probably writing about writing would work the magic off and probably get me on a writing spree. So I start to explain how I feel like, something like “sometimes I am afraid to write…”
…and the cursor keeps blinking!
Damn sometimes I hate writing and yet I love it so much!