As you learn to ride a horse you get to learn that you need to trust other things, you need to able to learn to trust that the horse will not kick you, bite you or worse throw you down and tumble all over you. You learn a great deal of trust.
First thing you will be told by your instructors is to look ahead. Just like with riding a bicycle riding a horse you have to maintain your head high in anticipation of anything. You have to always be on guard lest you fall off thinking of yesterday’s delicious meal or your girlfriend or worse the landlord knocking on your door. Thinking of which it should be weird you having the luxury of enjoying a ride with an unpaid for apartment, you should think about it however here is where you generally do not think about anything other than your horse and yourself. The two of you make a team and depending on how you treat your horse it will do the same to you. Be good to it and it will be good to you. Back to the instructor, “look forward, not down.” Get the balance on your horse and learn its rhythm, “look between your horses ears.”
Today’s lesson was therefore really hard for me because I suffer a lot when it reaches a place I need to trust people or things. I believe in myself and myself only. I hardly trust things, I normally do my piece and hope that the other partner won’t mess me up. Key word is HOPE. I hope for the best but expect the worst. I’m never shocked when people or things go wrong actually, the contrary happens I sort of expect such to happen. Back to the story TRUST is what you need. For a million times I stagnated in this position, a rising trot over the trotting poles because in my head I knew the horse would never go through the poles as expected and so many a times we would do a perfect rising trot and stop at the aligned trotting poles. Horses are intelligent beings, they would always sense if the rider is incompetent, afraid or confident and a leader. Valentino sensed I feared the trotting poles and it took advantage of that and stopped every time before the poles despite my attempts to keep him moving hoping he will listen to me.
“WILL YOU STOP LOOKING DOWN!” the instructor shouted at me “LOOK FORWARD” and for once I just looked forward way far from the entrance of the stables. The wind brushing softly on my face and towards the trotting poles we went. First round, “RELAX” and I did, I felt my tummy compress, my face feeling the air and Valentino getting his speed up for a perfect trot although I somehow thought we did it perfectly coz he knew my sessions were almost over but regardless we were able to go through the trotting poles without stopping. These were the reasons people rode, to relax, to enjoy, to learn the wonders of the unending world.
Today I learned a difficult lesson, a lesson that was contrary to all my believes, a lesson that gave me a different perspective of life. I was able to successfully go over the trotting poles, I was able to trust Valentino in his speed and control his mind with mine. Today I was taught a lesson of trust. I reminiscence of yesterday’s anger, build up emotions of defeat, the sobbing passion, the self analysis and I cannot find an answer. Today I learn to trust that when it rains it does not necessary have to pour. Today I learn to trust, to let go.
12/ Nov/ 2013.