WHY EXACTLY

 

 

Remember remember the 18th of September

On the second decade and  year later

He said he was tired of my sorries

Of asking my selfish stubborn self

He said he could not get himself to see me again

 

I told my friends I was single

That he was being an ass and selfish

That all he cared for was  himself

That maybe I was just a stepping stone

 

They told me to leave him alone

Not to call him or text g=him

That I was worth better

Far much better than him

 

I remember he was the best

Among all of them

I dint want them

I dint want the best I just wanted him

 

I wanted to cry

I begged my tears to come so I would

Get rid of this pain.

I remember love was about sacrifice, tolerance, acceptance

I was willing to tear myself up for him

So I could get him again

And so I called and apologized

I apologized for being a selfish an- understanding bitch as he called me

I wanted him back

 

It was a day after

I wanted him back for  good

I texted and told him that

He said I fucked up

“One last chance”

“never”

He denied having anything to do with me

He was not going to that way ever again.

 

I sulk, at the idea of him, leaving

His burning eyes

If he really loved me why was it easy for him to say never?

How is it possible he left with no hesitation

And so I ask what exactly is love?

IN A FLASH

He,

Almost all too forgotten

Maybe because

His world and mine stayed

Far apart as much as close

He’s gone now

He’s gone where no one knows

For sure

His soul is risen

To a place not known to

anyone

 

20years of memory making

of regret and possible

romance

In the regrettable

affairs

all gone to dust with him

In a second

R.I.P

He’s soul has risen

I knew not him

but from afar

I see him in our school photos

now

He’s all gone

R.I.P

 

His soul is gone

a reminder of how tender

we truly are

living in the mercy of his greatness.

tender and in a shred

R.I.P

In a flash of a memory

the memory is now all gone!

R.I.P

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