A LESSON WELL LEARNT
I cannot be weak
I must not be weak,I cannot cry,I do not wallow
I cant afford to be weak
This was my way of life,I was ever strong ever in control
And when I wasn’t In control I had fake it.
Don’t make yourself ‘there for me ’people are never ‘there for you’
They just make you comfortable so they could gain your trust and use it against you.
I MUST not be weak.
Whenever I experienced something hurting,something stabbing deep I just kept repeating I cannot be weak yet inside I was trembling
I wanted to run,I wanted someone to tell me ‘its gone be okay,I gotcha’
See I was born in a family of girls and ambition came without say.we had to fight to be seen and my dad made sure that ,that was well practiced.i was my fathers daughter mistakes were not tolerated nor weakness.i had to be who I had to be,strong.
“The physique,look and stature was the most important,what you show is what other people will see” he said.i disregarded his his sayings and one day just one day,I trembled ,I cried,I wallowed all in the name of freedom,releasing and unleashing my feelings sharing is solving they said?back stabbing is what I got.
It hurt more than being hurt.It ached and kept at it so I keep things to myself,yes I do.I will be strong.Do not tell me to sell my soul again because now as you read this I damn sure know that I will not.Yes I will not be weak,I will give you ammunition,I will not allow myself to be weak not again.What you show them is what they will see.A lesson well learn’ t
My philosophy of life.