FROZEN LEMONS

Opening my eyes I saw a woman, she smiled at me her eyes so pure and happy and she looked at me and I could see her mouth utter words. I could not understand, her mouth widened and I felt the cold of outside and I cried and she smiled me and held me tight covering me with a blanket and I felt the warmth and slept.

Growing up I saw her alone and I could see her toil and moil for everything that I needed and she could struggle put me in her back and go to work with me. Well work is what I later on known was the title to what she was doing and going to daytime. In her back I got tired and tied tightly and she would go up and down ,up and down with a mop in her hands, I later on got to know its name. I could get really tired of being there and envious of other kids but I lay still in her back.

In school I went alone and saw my mum come pick me from school and bath me and feed me and we were okay. I went to class one two and three nicely and our life was heaven for I saw men with other mothers but mother never had one until I was in class six that I saw a man enter our home. He called himself Daniel and he much wanted my consent. He was being very good with me and my mother and he could take us out for lunches and dinners and he became my best friend. Looking at mum I saw her smile at him and it was a genuine smile. The smile she only shared with me when I had made her proud . The eyes were bright and I could read the chemistry in them. However I felt a pinch of jealousy raise I felt the need to let mother be happy, in any case she had made me really happy with all she could and I felt I owed it her ,to let her be happy as she had made me.

Every night she would come to tuck me in tell her I was her prince and that she loved me no matter what and I took it upon myself to love her back and help her in this journey of life that God accorded me and my mother and our life was perfect, this was before Daniel came in. This night though she came in with a smile as usual and stroked my forehead and looked at me, and said

”oh my dear grown man…what do you think of Daniel?”

“ah…he’s a cool guy I guess” waking up from my already tucked bed ”mum you love him don’t you?” and now you came to see if I was okay with him moving in?”

I had seen the difficulty she had endured in trying to tell me this very disturbing news to me but good for her obviously and I just spared her the agony. She went silent upon my question of her love to him and in a bit she accepted that she loved him and wanted him to move in with a voice so full of glow and happy and I had to say yes. Little did I know that that was the worst mistake I did.

On his arrival, things were good and in a few months mums stomach started protruding and I was old enough to know I was getting a brother or a sister and in no time baby Alice was born. A happy moment it was when she came but blows started being the air to our house. Daniel, the person I trusted and loved once changed and become the ogre of Malibu and wherever he was, was a bunch of blows and mums cry. Daniel, who I had started calling dad, a term I was not familiar with or even knew what it meant. Thinking is a dad supposed to hit my mother?

My childhood instincts telling me this isn’t right .The blows had become so many that I could no longer see my mother’s  so long a familiar beautiful face. All there was to her were loads and loads of black eyes and swollen cheeks and I knew I had to face up to this “father” I called. At my tender age I thought if I didn’t act accordingly mum would die and the thought of this was unbearable. So one day when Daniel came home drunk as usual and started his fracas .Mum sat at the sitting room holding baby Alice. He came in and started shouting at mum over some issues with food that was on the table.Mum stood and took the food away but apparently that wasn’t the issues in a few seconds Baby Alice was mercilessly thrown outside. The cry of the baby and the mother together in unison was heard, mum was calling for help from which its origin would be the ruthless strength placed on to her hairs as he pulled her by the head, dragging her away from baby Alice. I cried in sight of this and I knew that this had to go on no more.

Blows after blows after blows and cries that followed each blow. Screams for help as mother was being beaten mercilessly. No one came to the rescue, all the neighbors did was peep and gossip about it. Baby Alice had already stopped crying.I could not stand this treating anymore and I went to the kitchen and took out a knife with my trembling small hands. I could not hear a sound all I saw was my goal and destination which was to finish the trouble I started.

Mum was  down, weak and teary , this sight was enough for me to go crazy on him. I went forward to him and attacked him from behind stabbing not once or twice each time screaming and crying out bursting my anger in is body until he fell down and all my strength was gone. I  looked at mother lying there sleeping lifeless, making a hard effort in breathing and knew I had to do something immediately. Going outside I meet the landlord who volunteered to take my mother to the hospital. I went and carried baby Alice with me till she was cold, she wasn’t crying anymore; she wasn’t living anymore.

Mother was admitted for a week and I did not leave her side, I was her stronghold, her man  and her only son. At  a tender age I had accepted the title murderer. This was my life, a life of fear, a life without emotion without trust and without love. This was the life nature bestowed to me.

frozen

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