Of the dark

Because you have decided,

I shall let you be

I shall let you take away

my friends,my family,my conscious

because living is just but an illusion of the head.

#oflettinggo

#themourningloss

#RIPkuka

 

THE point?

Whatever  begins,sets in  time

just like you ,

shed ,brisk in to the thin air,

you will end.

so what is the point of living ?

you may ask?

the point of living is knowing that one day you shall end.

it is the only sure thing.

THE PERKS OF A WRITER

Sometimes I am afraid to write, sometimes I shun myself from writing because it delves into me like a narrow tunnel and makes me go through things I would rather forget. I am afraid of my writing yet at the same time I cannot do without writing. Sometimes it is the only get away I get to have, the only person willing to hear my story, the only way I can let it all out and not fear that they will turn their backs on me. Sometimes writing is more of a hobby and at times I miss it terribly .While other times I just don’t even want to think about writing ,I don’t want to go there, I do not want to feel vulnerable and so I do not write .That will have me carry the burden for many days until I write. I should write .I will write. I have no option other than to write. So I write.

So I take my laptop and open the word page and start writing. A few words at first, my heart so heavy ,so enchanted .The words have been dancing through my head none stop these previous weeks and so now I try my luck to write. I try my luck to at least pride myself in coming up with words that make a little more sense to more than just me. I gather all the courage and promise myself that this time I will write it all, and let go off this burden and then I open the MS word. The blinking cursor stares at me. Almost mocking my inability to come up with words. Mocking my over attempted efforts to write. Then I scorn it at first and dare to prove it wrong. I think that probably writing about writing would work the magic off and probably get me on a writing spree. So I start to explain how I feel like, something like “sometimes I am afraid to write…”

…and the cursor keeps blinking!

Damn sometimes I hate writing and yet I love it so much!

#perksofawriter.

Maria’s Story

POETRY. HIPHOP. PHILOSOPHY.

She slept with her jeans on. I had a boner the whole night until my navel hurt. You could smell her woman and I ran fingers along the hem of her denim hipster. Her back shook. Twitched. But when I tried to snake my fingers down her panties, she slapped my wrists.

Like darts, I poked her face with my tongue tip. It helps blood circulate your face, I told her. This is the most beautifulest face I’ve seen in my life as a painter. Of words. I’m beautiful if you close your eyes. She said. And I dreamt of her naked.

For seven days we cuddled. No sex. Are we lovers or something? I said NO. Then don’t breathe like that. I kissed her forehead and I think her third eye chakra must have opened.

During the night we tickled each other and giggled. During the day we kissed…

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If I Were to Write a Poem to an Ex

POETRY. HIPHOP. PHILOSOPHY.

I miss you when I’m cooking eggs.
No. Really.

I miss you when I’m missing my new girl.
She has no ass like you.
But she has prettier eyes than you.
Eyes like two moons.
On a grey cloud.
She is nothing like you.
Nothing like us.
Nothing like the fights we had.
Until ugali and sukuma wiki.
Turned cold.
Like pussy before.
Foreplay.
Nothing like you.
She is.
She is not a poet either.
So if I break her heart twice.
I’ll know her tears will be true.
Her pain won’t be empty words.
On a page.
And the world won’t give a damn.
About our drama.
Like who didn’t clean the dishes.
Or who texted first.
She won’t hide her smile.
Behind colourful words.
And three layers of lipstick.
She is nothing like you.
She is smart.
She is lonely.
I can easily cheat on her.
With you.

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NO WONDER THE WORD CURSE!

It is a curse indeed …makes

you feel really good then just

like time it fades away

Leaving you with the

Scorching scars of its wound.

It really is a curse, it binds

you to an eternity of memories,

tears, whispers

laughter of the solemn
An oxymoron of life

It is a curse indeed, the

blackness in black
Yet only so when in the

dark
It is a curse to those who

do it in the dark
The human intellectualism

n understanding of the doctrines of life
That it is a mandatory deed

A seed that once sowed

Always grows
The tama of it all
It binds the minds and souls

Yet it is a dark curse

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH.

It has been a while since I wrote. I have missed this, I have missed writing. While I was away a lot has happened. I have been involved in many a film experience, many that I will forever cherish. I have been able to shoot using a windows phone and worse I was made to edit it. Well  I am teaching myself to edit .After I got difficulties in finding an editor who really took my work seriously as I did and was available for the time it needed him ,I realized that I really needed to know how to edit. I might one day bail myself from a footage just laying on my laps after the hard work of shooting ends. So I embark to get all the footage I shoot so I can patch the story up without limits and deadlines and hopefully know how to edit. I am on a path to perfect it. So today I celebrate editing it .My first almost flawless edit –A short film called THE BUMP,i am still a long way to go though.

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Me,the director and camera crew in the New Eden re-shoot in Nanyuki.On set doing a confrontation Scene.I was the A.D.

I have been able to be on a professional set as an A.D. while back. Being an A.D really opens your world to how things should and will work as a director since you get to mediate between the two parties,the director and the crew. It was challenging but what a better way to learn than to be subjected to conditions not normal to you. So I was successful, the set went smoothly and we were able to finish all that was set to be finished however I could not sleep for days we were there! I have learned A.B.C of film and I am confident that I am not the same person two years back.

I was able to make my first feature film. A documentary about The Thika super highway and though it was made in just a few days with hectic timings and schedules, the documentary really trmdid work out for the best. Now I agree that you have to film to learn film making, that is the only way you can learn the DO’s and DON’T’s of film making.Having tasted this world I want to live in it forever. The feeling one gets after seeing the reaction of your audience, especially if they are moved by your story is just a whole spectrum of emotions that I cannot do justice in writing. It is one that I will forever hold in my memories.The thunder of claps all at the same time as the film faded to black then the credits appeared will be the sound  I hear everyday as I sleep and wake up to make films..

Finally I have just finished writing a 200 paged script. Hectic? yes very much. I am an emotional writer. If you read my fictional stories you might experience it. I write with emotion. Having to write the 200 page script even if it was for my final year project was a challenge not because of the size and bulk but because of the amount of emotional variation I had to subject myself into in order to write. I had to be heartbroken and torn, widowed and ashamed. So I had to select days where I could just write and leave my characters for my life. Anyways I finished writing the big manuscript of a script.Seriously the printed version looks like an encyclopedia.Now reading the script has got me at the edge of my seat with some of the conversations just making me giggle by myself. I must say it was worth the challenge.

This is the end of the semester and I must say the progress I have noted is in filming. I am becoming a better film maker by the day and I cannot honestly wait for Machawood to begin. I am thankful for this semester .My last fourth year semester!